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The Academy Awards: My Non-Qualifed Opinion Of The "Best Picture" Winners Since My Birth

This is Chris coming at ya live from the Red Carpet. Well, not quite. Although I'm a short drive away from Kodak Theater where the Rich And Bitchiful will play Sunday night, I know to avoid that area at all costs. In Los Angeles, especially in areas within 10 miles of Hollywood, people treat the Oscars like it's the Super Bowl times a zillion. Grocery stores are packed, the streets are slammed, and guys who look like they could be extras in a biker movie are discussing who they think should win Best Adapted Screenplay. Hell, they are probably screenwriters themselves. 

But enough of All That Jazz (which was up for a bunch of awards in 1979 and took home the prize for a few of them. Nothing major, though). I thought it would be fun if I took a look of the "Best Picture" winners since my birth and give a short insight into all of them Well, fun for me anyway. Please play along.

1973- "The Sting"- Great fun. The sequel sucked. 

1974- "The Godfather Part 2"- Great drama. This sequel did not suck.

1975- "One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest"- Jack is nuts in a good way and inspires change. Nurse Ratchett doesn't like it and would be at home in today's GOP.

1976- "Rocky"- Personally, one of my favorite movies. Spoiler! He lost. For the fourteen people out there who didn't know this, I'm sorry for ruining it. 

1977- "Annie Hall"- Comedies just don't win. However, this one did. I had hope Carrot Top's "Chairman Of The Board" would have wooed the voters many years later, but I was wrong. Lost $20 bucks on that bet. 

1978- "The Deer Hunter"- War is hell both physically and emotionally. Walken's character loses his mind. Hell, when playing a sane character Walken still appears to have lost his mind. 

1979- "Kramer Vs Kramer"- Bails on her hubby and kid then wants the kid back. To quote Public Enemy "There's a five letter word that described her character." In my version, Dustin Hoffman throws her out the courtroom window. 

1980- "Ordinary People"- A thoughtful, compelling look at the...ah, hell. I didn't see it. I know. I'm sorry. 

1981- "Chariots Of Fire"- This one I did see while flying to Germany. I was a kid and didn't get it. I watched it years later and if I had been the age I was when I first saw it on the plane, I would have prayed for the plane to crash. Boring. 

1982- "Gandhi"- Did you know Gandhi actually abstained from sex with his own wife? The remake will star Marcus Bachmann.  

1983- "Terms Of Endearment"- A heartbreaker. Reminded me of the 2010 Iron Bowl. 

1984- "Amadeus"- We are still looking for F. Murray Abraham's career. Hell, he and Tom Hulce. Could you imagine the casting director for this movie. "You know who I want to play Mozart? Larry "Pinto" Kroger from "Animal House." Yeah! Who's with me?" It worked, though. 

1985- "Out Of Africa"- I know for a fact women who saw this film had to sign a disclaimer stating that if they dragged their man to this movie, they owed him sex immediately after. 

1986- "Platoon"- Charlie Sheen is the moral compass. You read that right.  

1987- "The Last Emperor"- Never saw it. No one I know well has seen it, 

1988- "Rain Man"- There's one bad fallout from this movie. People who decided to do impersonations of Dustin's Hoffman character every chance they got at the height of its popularity. 

1989- "Driving Miss Daisy"- The Tea Party refers to this as "they way it should be. Ahh, the good old days..." 

1990- "Dances With Wolves"- Remember when Kevin Costner was a force to be reckoned with? The 90's were a time where everybody had a shot. Everybody. Just ask Luke Perry. 

1991- "The Silence Of The Lambs"- This movie always makes me hungry for some reason. Lechter was the good guy, right? 

1992- "Unforgiven"- Up and comer Clint Eastwood plays an ex-outlaw looking for revenge. Joining him that year was promising young actor Morgan Freeman. 

1993- "Schindler's List"- Steven Spielberg may make it in Hollywood after all. 

1994- "Forrest Gump"- The story of a simple minded yet well meaning man, involved with important historical events, who never gave up on his quest to prove Iraq has WMD's. No, that's not right. Ah, yes. The story of a simple minded yet well meaning man, involved with historical events, who never gave up on his quest to prove his love for Jenny. 

1995- "Braveheart"- Historically accurate? Hell no. Did anyone care about that? Hell no again.

1996- "The English Patient"- If I ever make it past the first hour of the film, I'll let you know my thoughts.

1997- "Titanic"- It was cool to hate this movie, but you have to admit James Cameron can spin a yarn. Speaking of Cameron, did you know Kirk Cameron co-starred on "Growing Pains" with Leonardo DiCaprio? DiCaprio is one of the most famous actors today. Kirk Cameron gave us "Like Father, Like Son", though. 

1998- "Shakespeare In Love"- True story. My best friend called me from the lobby when he went and saw this with his wife. He said, and I quote, "Whatever you do, don't ever see this movie. Help me. I told the wife I was going to the bathroom. I may stay there." So, I've never seen it. 

1999- "American Beauty"- This is a weird movie. Did Mena Suvari get naked? I may have to watch it again.  

2000- "Gladiator"- Lot of controversy with this one. But one of the nominees was "Erin Brockovich" so obviously this was a down year for movies. 

2001- "A Beautiful Mind"- I think Ron Howard saw that "Gladiator" won the year before for Best Pic And Russell Crowe for Best Actor and said "Hey! I'll put Crowe in it" and maybe the Academy is still drugged from 2000 and will think they are watching "Gladiator" again!" He's an evil genius, that Ron Howard.

2002- "Chicago"- Third on my list of "Haven't seen." I heard Richard Gere sang in it so I immediately avoided at all costs. 

2003- "The Lord Of The Rings: The Return Of The King"- Started watching this in 2003 and finished it six months later without ever pausing the film. 

2004- "Million Dollar Baby"- Clint Eastwood went against type and played a gruff, tough old guy though. The "Karate Kid" that wasn't Ralph Macchio and had breasts was in it, too. 

2005- "Crash"- "You're all racists. All of you. You should be ashamed of yourselves. Now, thank you for coming and don't forget if you bought a large soda or popcorn you can fill it up for free on the way home!"

2006- "The Departed"- I'm sure the original is better. I haven't seen it, but I know that's the hip thing to say, so I just want to tell you that the original is better. 

2007- "No Country For Old Men"- I'm going to say what we all want to say but no one has the guts to say. "I don't care if you're being faithful to the book, Coen Brothers. You give us a proper ending and you give us one now, friendo!" 

2008- "Slumdog Millionaire"- Wait a minute. A film with a happy ending wins? What the hell? 

2009- "The Hurt Locker"- Kathryn Bigelow also directed another film that was robbed of an Oscar. I am talking about the 1991 masterpiece "Point Break" starring Keanu Reeves and Patrick Swayze. 

2010- "The King's Speech"- If you've ever seen me drunk, I sound just like Colin's Firth's stammering character. True, I'm not trying to sound like that, but....

Thanks for reading!!