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In honor of Herman Cain, I give you these quotes from the original "Ladies' Man", Leon Phelps

*Ya know, when a man works hard his entire life enduring hundreds of ladies, many of whom he does not even remember you'd like to think that at the end of the day he will be given a lot of money, without having had to earn it.

*What is love? What is this longing in our hearts for togetherness? Is it not the sweetest flower? Does not this flower of love have the fragrant aroma of fine, fine diamonds? Does not the wind love the dirt? Is not love not unlike the unlikely not it is unlikened to? Are you with someone tonight? Do not question your love. Take your lover by the hand. Release the power within yourself. Your heard me, release the power. Tame the wild cosmos with a whisper. Conquer heaven with one intimate caress. That's right don't be shy. Whip out everything you got and do it in the butt. 

*Was your father a meat burglar? I ask this because...it looks like someone stole two fine hams and shoved them down the back of yo' dress...

*You know whos fault it is, don't you? It is the fault of the wang. I should cut this thing off!

*I have done it with all kinds of ladies ..from the lowest of the bus station skanks to the highly sophisticated bus station skanks